It is illustrative, though, of this prevailing American viewpoint that I can vividly remember – upon my return to England after a couple of year-sojourn in America in my early teens – being pilloried by my class-mates for wearing a retainer. And, desperate to fit back into England and be more English than those who’d never left, I immediately removed the offending wires and relegated them to overnight retainerdom forever. Said rebellious fang is the likely result of this.

The fact that I had not been to the dentist in five years until last week, is also illustrative of my fear of the dentist, of which the likely source is some Victorian-style tooth-extractions I underwent in the UK, involving giant needles, poorly administered Novocaine, a pair of potentially tetanus-laced pliers, a dental assistant restraining me by the forehead, and spots of blood all over my neatly-ironed white school shirt.

Our teeth are one of the least remarkable, yet most important elements, in the process that takes up most our spare waking moments – food, and the enjoyment thereof. A fact that was brought home to both Amy and I when we received stern warnings about how long it had been since our last visits to the dentist. It might be slightly comical for the dentist to ask you a series of questions about your dental hygiene routine requiring more than grunts for answers when his hands are immersed up to the wrist in your head, but his admonition that we were close to having serious gum-disease removed all the humor from the situation. It was a reminder that while we are scrupulous in our scrubbing of pots and pans, sharpening of knives, and oiling of chopping boards, we had been neglecting one of our key culinary tools that, unchecked, would have seriously affected our ability to enjoy our favorite thing.

The moral of the story, therefore, is if you haven’t been to see him/her in a while, we personally recommend you make an appointment with your dentist so sooner rather than later. The longer you leave it, the more unpleasant it’s likely to be when you do finally have to open wide and bear your not-so-pearly whites. And, if a greater incentive is needed, check out the slideshow above.

Only for those of you who’ve been to the dentist recently, here’s a quick and easy recipe for an espresso pannacotta which will both attack and stain your enamel with sugar and coffee…

Espresso Pannacotta (makes 8 small or 4 large)

Ingredients:
2 cups (500ml) double (heavy) cream
8 tbsp cold espresso coffee
4 tbsps superfine (caster) sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/2 tsp powdered gelatin

Recipe
Add cream and sugar to a saucepan and stir over gentle heat until sugar is completely dissolved.
Bring mixture to a boil, and simmer for about 3 minutes, adding your vanilla extract and espresso. Stir well.
Sprinkle in powdered gelatin and stir until completely dissolved.
Remove from heat and pour mixture into espresso cups or dariole molds and cover each tightly with plastic wrap, making sure to press wrap onto surface of cream.
Refrigerate until set – at least 3 hours, preferably overnight.
To un-mold pannacotte, pour some hot water into a bowl. Dip coffee cups/molds into hot water and turn a couple of times. Then, run a knife around inside of cup to release pannacotta. Invert onto a plate, shake a bit and pray it all comes out in one piece.
Serve with fresh berries or, as we did, kumquats.

What is it about coffee in Europe that makes it taste so good? Why do so many people love Dunkin’ Donuts coffee when it quite obviously tastes (and looks) like gnat’s piss? And why, indeed, do people feel the need to drink a pint of coffee in one go? More to the point, how can they drink a pint of coffee while sitting in traffic on their morning commute? Maybe it’s my bladder, but I can’t imagine putting myself through the agony of needing to pee while trapped in rush-hour traffic, not to mention the agony of drinking a pint of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee every day.

Whenever we visit the in-laws we have to drink coffee percolator coffee that is lukewarm and well, frankly insipid, and when we complain that the coffee is bad, we get accused of being snobbish. How dare they, you say? You We Are Never Full folks are the last bastion in the fight for tasty, authentic food and drink, you shout in support of us. Well, exactly, we say, but evidently, in North America, we are in the minority.

How hard is it to make good coffee? Given that Americans drink more coffee than any other country in the world (you may be interested to know that Brazil is the world’s second largest coffee consumer), is it not preposterous then that the general standard of the beverage across this great land is almost uniformly disappointing? Perhaps this is because of the uniform nature of the beastly chains that have taken over our country, or perhaps its just because people are prepared to pay nearly $3 for a shitty cup of coffee?

But, in answer to the question above, it is not hard at all, and frankly, buying cheap coffee and using simple technology does not mean a poorer drink, in fact, we think it means a better one. Whereas my inlaws have spent around $100 for their Cuisinart coffee maker, and another $35 recently on a replacement pot, we spent less than $10 on our stove-top, Italian-style espresso-maker by Bialetti. We also only spend $2.99 per pound on our coffee.

Cafe Bustelo is certainly not as good as Lavazza or other famous Italian brands, but it is less than half the price, and still produces an excellent tasting cup, both with milk and as an espresso. So, do yourself a favor, get your hands on one these bad-boys to the right and stick some cafe bustelo or cafe pilon in it. You can get 6 cups of espresso or 2-3 cups of cafe con leche out of one of these, but there is one key element to making the latter – hot milk.

Putting an inch and a half of milk in a mug in the microwave for 30 seconds to a minute to heat up before pouring in your coffee makes all the difference in the world to the taste of your morning wake-up. The fact that the milk does not cool the coffee seems to mean that the flavors of the coffee mix better with the milk and allows the aroma to persist longer than it would with cold milk.

So, why does coffee taste better in Europe? Well, undoubtedly it’s the hot milk and the dark roast of the beans, but it’s also got a lot to do with the atmosphere of sitting in the square and enjoying it in a relaxed way rather than in your car, stressed about traffic and needing to pee.